We would stay up all through the night

What's happening
The Bubble's burst...
You're playing your
own game.
And now I'm in mine...

: Let's make it clear :


This is what it means:

What's happening...

The bubble of perfection...
Our world together... just
the two of us... is gone

You're leading your own life
in your own world...
(forgetting me)

And now, I'm leading my own
life... in my own world.
(things have changed.
i hate it)

-----------------------------------------

I don't get you
either.

Maybe love will come through...

Prosthetic Head

-This post is dedicated to
people who are social
parasites. -

I see you, down in the front line.
Such a sight for sore eyes,
you're a suicide makeover.

Plastic eyes,
lookin' through a numbskull.
Self-effaced, what's his face.
You erased yourself so shut up.
You don't let up.

You have a growth
that must be treated
Like a severed severe
pain in the neck.
You can smell it but
you can't see it.
No explanation identified

'cause you don't know.
You don't say.
And you got no reply.

Hey you, where did you come from?
Got a head full of lead, you're an
inbred bastard son.
All dressed up, red blooded, Amannequin
Do or die, no reply, don't deny that you're
synthetic.
You're pathetic.

-- "Prosthetic Head" by Green Day

He took the seat off his own bike because of the way that it felt

And I'm thinking bout the only road..
One I've never known
And I know its all that I've wanted

-- Macy's day parade --

Whee. Im cookie.
Screaming my lungs out.
Singing green day songs.
Not knowing what to do with life.
yet doing my hw.
reluctantly.

haiz..

thats life.
it's get typical.

well.. this weekend was orite for me.
on fri night i went for
Crez Awards.

Not relli worth the money...
i wldnt go...
if it wasnt for the highlights of
the night...
n the fact tht crescent is my
alma mater. :)) till forever..
haha. what crap.

yeh. crez awards was fun.
finally got to see nad again.
after months.. gosh.
so many thngs happened.
to her.. to me.. n yet we r
so oblivious. cos we ddnt meet
up. sad.

then sat was relli dull.
ptm.. yeh. wtever..
den. i slept thru e whole day.
haha. sleepy as hell.

den today.. woah. usual
again. went to PUB
newater for service again.
quite fun. hopefully i can
finish tht as soon as poss.

oh. the weirdest thng...
firah n fizah(r) came to
my hse today to study.
poor thngs had no place
to go. haha. u guys can
come my hse any time
if u want k.. :)

k. accept if my mum's home.
haha. she don relli like
visitors. but besides tht,
hey ho the dairy oh...
haha. crap.

i need a new hp!!
i wanna buy sony ericsson's
flip phone in may. its's so
pretty. damn y did my sis
have to make me fall in love
with it.

I'm in love with so many
thngs. haha. yeah rite..
k. i got one true love. ;)

he wld come in my dreams..
he makes my heart skip a
beat.
i get goosebumps.
i miss his voice.
i wanna hear it everyday.
i wanna be a part of his life.
he is so great. he has faults
but i still love him...

he is...

BILLIE joe armstrong!!!

haha. fooled u ddnt I!
why wld i tell everyone e
truth!!! :T

heehee.
but i do love billie.
but let the other just be a
part of my dream.

I feel a
"desperation murmur of
the heartbeat" -- Homecoming

I feel tht
he hates me.

Cos he ignores me.
It's been 2 months.
But I just carry on.
thnking abt my impt yr
dis yr.

I get desperate.
Unsure. Gullible n
confused.

I can do nothing but stare
at u from afar.
n this is the first time.
usually i can go to u.
but now im held back..

'i see u down in the front line.
such a sight for sore eyes.
ur a sucide makeover' --
Prostethic Hate

but i cherish
all the time we had.
the time of OUR life..

*[just rmb dear, im different
from the rest.
we share something so
common, it is uncanny.

i dont understand. do u
appreciate me? do u care?
i wan u to thnk for a sec...
all the times we had..

us singing our fave songs
we jus sing
oblivious to wht it means
'if u live with me I'll die
for u and this compromise.'

is this significant to u?

rmb the times we laughed.
our crazy times.
we cldnt breathe. i held
so tightly to wht he had...
but now there's none.

dont u miss all tht?
all the times we had...

think for a sec.
ur losing out...
ur losing me...]*

*i need u.*i want u.*

Gotta Make a Plan. Gotta Do What's Right.

I'm so fucking lazy.
Yeah. And I'm an ass.

I'm so lazy to blog.
I dono why I'm here.
Writing all this crap.

Well. lets jus summarize
wht happened last wk.
alot of strange stuff
actually.

hmm. i cant relli thnk
right now. haha.

okk.. so basically.. there
was jammin on wed. rmb
tht.. haha.

not much of a jammin
actually. my guitar string
broke. damn.

i was irritated on tht day.
once again.

Thurs was not bad..
hah. lyk real.. well alrite ah.
morn was great.. haha.
afternoon.. haiz.. met someone.
tok to em. ok ok..

so.. im gonna strt doin service
stuff. at the NEwater place.
NEwater, yucks! haha. some
say there's no diff. well.. to
each his own.

ok.. im lazy to type anymore.
shit. I just hope I dont forget
all the stuff tht happen last wk.

Lyk kes jel.. haha. wth.

Live Without Warning

Is there such a thing as the
theory of balancing out?

My whole of last week was
depressing.
Then today... some parts of
today... was great. Looking
up to be a good week.

Den everythng sinks down
the drain again.
Its hard to think of the good
things that happen. The bad
things only haunts us more.

I only hope everythng will
balance out again.
I feel that I can only get happy
for one period of time only.
After tht i will get bored
again irritated.. argg. is it some
sort of diesease or a normal
thing?

Perhaps it will balance out.
But I had a major breakthrough
today... i jus realised tht I can
never be the person I badly
wanna be.

No one will look at me twice.
No one will think I have personality.

Sorry here. low self esteem
speaking. I just feel... (haha.
lyk i told fizah today) that
'aku rasa posisi aku dah
tergugat.' hah. i dont noe
whther tht seems sensible but
seriously.. its just e way it is.

i feel tht im no where near
anythng...
not in my studies.. not in my
social life...
im lyk a floating piece of wood
not knowing where to go.

N i always pray to god to help
show the right direction to me.
sounds all so serious. haha. but
really. i hope i will be given the
'light'. haha. k. dont laugh.

ok. i quote from this song:
'Well i've got some scattered
pictures lying on my bedroom
floor. It reminds me of the times
we shared. Makes me wish that
you were here...
Cause now it seems I've forgotten
my purpose in this life.."
-- from 'Scattered' -- Green Day.

I just cant thnk anymore. I cant focus.
Maybe it is love sick. well.. wht to
do. I force myself to be in this state.
I better get out soon.

Oh. Finally I told fizah everyting.
my secrets... hehehe. Im glad i told
her. at last i have someone to share
my secrets with. its so hard to meet
fizah everyday n not being able
to tell her how i feel abt tht someone.
N i thnk narimah noes also.. hahaha.
;) kinda slipped out. Well...

All I can say is...
'I will be more vain for you.
I will be all out for you.
But I will never change myself for you.'

Forget it.. I'm gonna ask aisyah for a
favour. That might make me happier.

Basically,
Stress + A level year +my family +
love sick + pessimism = giving up

There.. a maths equation for u.
Hopefully it just can balance out
in the end.