Get your philosophy from a bumper sticker

Everythng's kinda fine now.
yet there's potential tht
volcano larva is abt to erupt
out of me any time soon.

argg.

Don't u ever get the feeling
that u feel shock with ur identity?
I cant believe this is who i
am at times... also i cant
imagine ME being anyone
else.

yet.. sometimes u wish u are.
u wish to step out from the
real you n be someone ur
not. but thts not right...
n i cant do tht cos i don thnk
i will be able to handle being
someone else.

gosh. i shldnt even question
my own identity. this is hu
i am. i have to accept it.

but i dono... can others
accept it?

it doesnt matter wht other
pple thnk.
true philosphy of a punk
rocker. hah.

but.. it matters wht those
pple u care abt thnk.
u want them to lyk u.
but u cant. they jus lyk
u as a fren.

thts my identity.
im the next door fren.
the one u don treat
seriously. e one u
jus wanna chat with.

for the sake of just wanting
to get information?
or do they really care? do
they really truly wanna tok
to u?

n wen u tok...
do they truly listen?

rhetoric questions.
no point here.

what im saying.
what im typing.

it relates to my life.
n im pretty sure everyone
else's as well.
sometimes we dont get what
we want.

perhaps wht we want is asking
too much.
we need to be grateful for wht
we have.
but sometimes we jus want it
so badly.
but we still cant get it.

shld we give up?
never say never?
haha.

i shld jus be glad tht i can
still.. still able to tok... tok
to pple. hmmm.

doesnt make much sense.
nvm.
maybe some day everyone
will understand.

cos i keep my feelings
secret. haha. i don even
tell hafizah! abt hu i lyk..

but i noe. i thnk
she noes. she understands.
if its not time for me to tell
her... its just not time yet..

haha. ok. stop emoing n being
cheesy.. argg. nope nope.
im still emo. plus pms is getting
me hormones running high.
haha.

i guess i'll just keep everythng
as prt of my memory.
n treasure it.
n jus noe tht at least i have tht
to salvage.

ok...

so moving on to CCA fair.
again i wanted to type career fair.
haha. oops mistake.

Well. there's only one word for it..

I was going to say : DEAD

but then it was kinda FUN for me.
haha. i guess cos alot of thngs
keep me entertained. hehe.
hmmm...

like i get to listen n groove to
live cool music. heh. n also get
to jam. :)

best prt.. i noe im gettin closer.
get to be emo with pple.
hah. but i get this feeling
again.. dejavu. its lyk i get
closer to pple but i realise
its all too dangerous. i get my
hopes up. i get mixed signals.

but i noe its all not worth it.
cos pple don feel wht i feel.
so then whts e point?

haiz. one-sided-ness sucks.

but still wht i can say
today was fun.
cos pple were nice today.
hehe.

pple were funny. crazy.
there were turn-off points
but still wht can i say..
pple will remain pple.

i cannot deny tht i feel
for pple.

still dono wht im toking abt?
haha. its ok. :)